


10 Ways to Kidnap Lily Evans

by Kate_Hailey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Hailey/pseuds/Kate_Hailey
Summary: James Potter is willing to do anything to get Lily to like him, even if that means eventually kidnapping her in all seriousness.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad- @TheRavenpuffPoet; This story took the living daylight out of me X3

James slipped his fingers along the corner of the dark brick walls, “Ready, Moony?” Remus snickered, he brought out a stubby plant and planted it in the middle of the hallway, Sirius slipped out of the darkness and chuckled, “James, we’ve done it this time!” He grabbed James’ shoulder and watched carefully as Severus approached the small plant.

BAM! The plant blew up in a smoke and Severus fell backward as four figures appeared in the mist, “Haha! Well done, James.” Remus slugged James in the arm, “Oh dear,” he played, “I shouldn’t take all the credit...” Sirius laughed, “You better not be joking about that.”

“How’d it go for you, Snivellius?” Remus cackled at the stubby figure sitting on the floor, he grumbled a few words under his breath and stood on his feet, “I’m...disinterested.” He walked away and James rubbed Sirius’ hair, “I’m sure that means he enjoyed the prank.” 

Sirius laughed, “James, you can be so annoying at times.”

James snorted, “I know.” Just then, a red-headed girl crossed through the hallway, she brushed past James and kept heading for the classes. James’ expression shifted, “Who’s that?”

Sirius whispered in his ear, “That’s Lily Evans, I’ve heard she’s really hot if you look at her in the eyes.” James shrugged, “So she’s mediocre I suppose, I’m the one who’s hot.” He flashed a fashion model smile at Sirius and Remus. They shook their heads admittedly, “Yeah, um, she has a lot of other flashy boys hanging around her all the time…”

James rolled his eyes, “Nevermind that, none of them can be comparable to me.” Sirius shook his head, “Sorry to break it to you, Prongs, but she’s got some really good people hanging around her like she’s some sort of goddess, some even hotter than you…” He muttered the last part, James was fuming.

“Really good? Oh, come on! What can be better than my flashy looks and style?!”

Remus chuckled, “Uh...the boys who hang around her, obviously.”

James clenched his fists in jealousy then turned around to face Sirius and Remus, “Well then! I’ll make it my very own challenge. I’m going to make ‘Lily Evans’ fall in love with James Potter.”

Remus and Sirius paused for a second then blew up in laughter, “No way, James! You can’t be serious, Lily Evans is one of the most sincere girls in the school.”

“Really? What does she think of pranking annoying Slytherins and boring professors?”

“Probably doesn’t think it’s anything more than a ‘brutally wrong action’ not to mention her work ethic and grades, some say she’s the smartest student in all of Gryffindor's house!”

James frowned and crossed his arms, “Hmph! How could they! Especially when they all know that I, James Potter, am the one scheming all the delusionally hilarious pranks they see every day?!” Sirius rolled his eyes, “Good luck catching Lily Evans, mate. I’m sure you’ll need it,” he high-fived Remus, and the two of them marched back to the dormitories.

James stood in the middle of the hallway in thought, he would have to figure out the most complicated puzzle he had ever faced in all his time, or two years, at Hogwarts. How to make Lily Evans fall for James Potter?


	2. Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily’s like a wall. Never goes down, always stays up. Unless you have a powerful fist like James.

James Potter licked his lips at the Gryffindor table, breakfast had been served. He took a glass of pumpkin juice and slurped it down his throat. Everyone grossed out and turned away from him, including Lily.

James turned a raspberry-pink color just for that. He pushed a piece of toast in his mouth and waved to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Peter had not been there for the prank, which was quite disappointing, but James always had his eyes fixed on the future-

“Hey,” James said, finding Lily nuzzled in a book, her attention not on him at all. James tried to make conversation with her but she groaned and kept reading her book. “So you’re not going to talk to me?” She grumbled and turned away, “Why would I?”

James smiled, “So you’re name’s Lily, right? Lily Evans…” Lily rolled her eyes, “Don’t play dumb, Potter, I know who you are and what you do to my friends.” James backed away, “Whoa, your friends? You do know that I’m like...Gryffindor’s king, right? Everyone here loves me! How did I hurt your friends?” Lily pushed him aside and James’ toast wretched itself down his throat for a few seconds of subtle choking.

“Mmm, better check your statistics. I guess that ‘everybody,’ wouldn’t include me.” 

James stared at her in awe, this girl was more than an exceptionally cute girl, she was probably the most deceptive and analytic girl James had ever met. James hoped they would see each other again soon.

Lily, on the other hand, hoped to never have to talk to James Potter ever again. She studied hard in all her classes and had the best work ethic out of all the Gryffindor students, some even suggested she be in Ravenclaw, and she was certain they were right.

Gryffindor had to be the worst house in the entire school, not just because James and his goons seemed to think they ran the entire house but also because no one here seemed to notice her unless it was for her good looks. A few people asked to go out with her, but she hadn’t found them to be what she wanted for herself, argh. She thought, tearing herself away from all her romantic thoughts.

James Potter was stupid as ever anyway, it wasn’t as if he had any real future outside of Hogwarts. He would simply grow up and live off of his father’s money, most likely ending up with the same fate the rest of his goons started off with.

“Ms. Evans? Are you sure you’re paying attention?” Slughorn snapped his ruler against the chalkboard at the front of the class and Lily stammered in response, “Y-Yes, pro-professor.” Slughorn gave her an eye of curiosity and tapped the board, “Well then.” He picked up the pace and swung over to her desk, placing a vial of Amortentia atop it, “Might you be able to tell me what this is and how to brew it?”

Lily looked into his eyes, they weren’t filled with hatred, but neither did they stand on the forgiving side of things for now. She sighed, “That’s Amortentia. A love potion.”

Slughorn nodded at her in disbelief, “Correct!” He shouted, still a bit dumbfounded by Lily’s impressive skills. For a “mudblood,” as most of the people at this school liked to call her, she was very intelligent and looked smarter here than any of the...other...Gryffindor students.

“Well Ms. Evans I must say I am certainly very...surprised...but if you could answer the second part of the question-”

“Uhm, Professor? Sirius over here is being very rude, can I move somewhere else?” James spoke up. Lily rolled her eyes, she had forgotten that he was in her potions class. Dumbo, she thought, scratching the desk with her pointer finger. Slughorn looked back at Lily, “You could move over here by Lily...would that be OK with you, darling?”

James smiled, Gotcha, he mouthed and Lily growled. His expression changed from sorrowful to prideful in a flash as he plopped down in the seat next to Lily and looked over her notes. Lily covered her paper with her hand and shot a laser look into James’ eyes.

He turned his head and pretended to be distracted by a moth floating near the white light. Lily turned over her paper and sighed, writing down a few more notes. She felt something lightly tap her shoulder.

James hung his head over her shoulder, looking down square at her notes, she pushed his head off her shoulder and shoved him to the other side of the desk. This job of keeping James in line was becoming more and more and more tiring over time.

Slughorn droned on and on and by the time class was over, Lily made sure James wasn’t in her next class. Phew, she sighed, bolting back down the hallway. “Wait! Lily?” She turned around in mid-run, crashing down on her bottom near a group of Slytherins. One of those Slytherin students happened to be Severus Snape, although it was too hard to recognize.

“What do you want, James?!”

James helped her to her feet and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, she dodged it just in time and shoved him away, he stepped a few feet back, “Well aren’t you sweet?” She groaned, “Mhm...look I have better things to do than tussling around all day. As do you most likely, which is why it would save both of us if you quit it with this behavior!”

James grabbed her hand, “Will you go out with me?” Lily shook, “No!” She threw off his hand, “I am not sorry for that.” She dropped it and took everything with her to Madam Hooch’s class. James sat up on his elbows, he would get her someday.

\--

Sirius and Remus bolted over to James, “James! Hey! Lookie-loo!” Sirius waved a hand in front of his face. Remus sighed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest, “He’s probably just drunk.” Sirius’ expression changed shape, “DRUNK?! Oh no! JAMES! COME BACK TO ME!” Sirius began pumping his chest, giving him CPR.

“No! That was a joke, dummy. He’s what? Thirteen? Yeah, last I checked that’s not old enough to drink anyway.” Sirius moved away from James, “Whoops!” He backed up into a girl with white hair and blonde locks at the end, she stepped backward and chuckled, “Sorry.” She offered a hand to Sirius and she blushed, “You’re cute, you know?”

Sirius smiled at her, “Thanks,” He popped up to his feet, “You’re not though-” Remus pulled Sirius away before he could say more. The girl wasn’t hurt at all, “Oh really?” She wore a Hufflepuff tie and Remus covered Sirius’ mouth as he spoke jibberish through his hand.

“MMPH! MMPH! MMMMMMMM!!! HMMM!!! HMPH!!” Remus smiled nervously, “He’s a bit...shy? I don’t know what to say really…” The girl smiled, “Oh don’t worry. I’ll capture his heart someday-”

“OUCH!” Remus pulled his hand away from Sirius’ mouth and let him go, “You BIT ME?!” Sirius shrugged and pointed a finger at her, “You’ve got really bad taste, I’d think you were fashion backward if I saw you in public-”

“Uh...I think he meant he wanted to...uh…”

“Oh no worries,” The girl smiled and waved, “I know exactly what he means.” She walked off waving to him and blushing furiously, Sirius was so cute!

\--

Remus scowled at Sirius and punished him for telling a girl she was ugly, he wagged his finger at him. “Hey, where’s James?” Sirius said, scooting over to where the empty spot in the hallway was. “Well, I suppose he went to class-”

“SHOOT!” They both yelled at the same time, looking into each other’s crazed expressions, “WE FORGOT ABOUT CLASS!!” They raced off to class and booked it just in time to get to divination. 

\--

Lily hated divination, James wished he hadn’t picked this subject.

Remus and Sirius plopped down in the seats next to James and frowned. “Hey, where’ve you guys been?” He played jokingly. They grumbled and turned toward the talking figure at the front. James nagged them the entire class period about things like, “Does Sirius have a love interest? Are you two sad? Can you TALK TO ME?! Alright, I’m leaving. If you see Lily, gimme a call. Three eyes are more than one eye! Oh wait just a second, that doesn’t sound right.”

\--

Lily stood with her broom in place, Madam Hooch’s class hadn’t gotten any easier since the first time she had joined here. She was glad James had divination instead, always so high of himself about being one of the best seekers at Hogwarts.

Stupid childhood he had there, his ego was too big for his tiny IQ, Lily thought. She thought that if she had dropped all the way down from his ego to his IQ, she would be dead. She snickered at the second thought, James being full of himself and all stupid and iffy at times was just what she needed to cheer up the sadness she held inside.

“Lily?” Lily jumped, she had hardly remembered why she had decided to take this course. Oh right, for some extra athletic credit even though she had no talent on the inside.

Athletics were all James’ things, not hers, especially not when the rest of the people in this class had just so happened to be ten times better than her at Quidditch and sports in general. Muggle sports were easy, just pick up a ball and throw it.

Into the hoop, at a player with a bat, down an alley at some scratched-up faded white pins.

That was easy. This? Not so much. Lily thought about how seemingly easy this would be for that total brat, James- wait. Was she seriously thinking about him right now?! She couldn’t be! No, no, no! Lily! Eyes off that ungrateful prat!

The rest of the class period did not go by very well. Madam Hooch was well-oriented in getting Lily in trouble as often as possible with her little athletic abilities. James bumped into her again in the hallway, quite literally.

“James! What the heck-”

“Lily! I found you! Alright, I’m sorry about the whole flirting sabatage, clearly, you don’t flirt, but I have an alternative option-”

“James! How many times do I have to tell you, I will not date you!”

James frowned, “W-Well why not? Is it because of my looks? Did I not comb my hair down this morning? Does my cologne smell bad-”

“No! None of that...stuff!” Lily snarled, “I won’t fall for you because...well I’l the good girl at this school and you’re...you’re the bad boy! And...I don’t like you very much.” James begged her, “Lily please! What is wrong with me? Am I stupid or something?”

Lily backed away, “You want to know the truth? You’re a stuck-up bad idiot liar who plays mean tricks on Severus and doesn’t even think twice about anyone else, is that enough critical input? Or do you need me to go fetch some more ultra gruesome and horrible things you did?!”

James backed away from her, “Alright, I get it. Geez.” He rubbed his neck, looking solemn and rubbed his nose. He walked away into the hallway and Sirius and Remus showed up behind Lily. “You know what, Lily? Maybe James is a foulsome little prick. Maybe he si a stupid idiot. And maybe he does do the wrong things at the most inconvenient of times, we all do, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try dating him, much less put him down.”

Remus and Sirius raced after him and Lily sat down in reminiscence of what she had done. Was it the right thing to tell James he was a cockroach? Or that his pranks on Severus weren’t useful? Did he take it that she thought he was senseless?

She sat down next to him at breakfast the next morning and apologized, “Sorry...James...I vented all over you.” He shrugged, “It happens with all my girlfriends. I don’t think I’ve ever had one that’s not done that to me.” Lily grabbed James’ hand, “You know what? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“JAMES! SIRIUS GOT HIMSELF A GIRLFRIEND!” Remus grabbed James’ collar and dragged him over to the spot at the end of the table with the other marauders. Lily sighed.

\--

James bumped her shoulder in-between classes, “You know what, Evans? I accept your apology.” Lily lit up, “You...what?! What?! It’s supposed to be a long process you can’t just accept you fool-hearted rodent!” James hissed, “Ay! Turn down the language! Call me hottie or something instead~”

Lily rolled her eyes, knowing James now, he really was a prick. “No, Potter. I’m not calling you hottie.” James rubbed his neck, “Ouch. Oh well. Will you date me now?”

“I already told you, Potter! NEVER IN A MILLION-BILLION YEARS!”

James’ mind lit up, “So...if I wait a million billion years, you'll finally date me?”

“NO! NEVER!”

James sighed then groaned, he ruffled his fingers through his rough head of hair and put his hand on Lily’s shoulder, she jumped and scowled at him, removing his hand and frowning, “Potter, if you’re not interested in helping me at all, then I have no business here with you,” Lily huffed and marched away from him.

“Wait! Lily! You’ll try out for the Quidditch team, right?”

“Who told you I could do any sports? Because I can’t, get your eyes off the road, Potter. You’ll never date me. Admit to it.” Lily huffed, and with no response, she turned away and trotted down the dark hallway.

James was left in silence.

She had abandoned him,

She had insulted him,

She had apologized worthlessly to him,

She had almost slapped him,

She had killed him with the dagger she shot at him in her eyes,

And yet James still wanted to do the impossible.

He still wanted to date Lily Evans.


End file.
